I was exhausted. Just woke up with kids jumping on me. I smiled, they were mine and I loved them so much, nothing could change that.
Walked downstairs after hearing the doorbell ring. I opened the door to a man in a long trench coat. He said, “Have you made your decision?”
“No,” I said, “I’m not going to choose.” I shooed my three kids away from the door and stood next to him on the porch.
“Traveling between two different lives must be painful and tiring. It will eventually drive you mad.”
A while ago I began waking each morning in one of two homes. One where I was married to John, a wealthy, handsome, and funny engineer whose income allowed me to stay home with our three amazing children. The next morning I would wake up married to George, a sweet and compassionate computer programmer developing his next big project. I worked outside the home as a senior sales associate for a local supply firm and he worked from home with our two wonderful children. Day in, day out this cycle repeated. Every week or so, this man would arrive and ask me to choose. By choosing one life over the other, I am choosing one set of children, one husband, one family over another. I can’t choose. I can’t undo a set of my children.
So, I awake each morning in a different house, a different life. I live knowing all the details of both lives. I mix things up from time to time, but overall I manage. I will manage.
“I’m fine,” I replied as I walk back inside.
“You will be driven to madness,” he said.
“I’m a Mom. I’m already there,” I answered with a smirk as I slammed the door behind me.