Deeperest Thoughts on 2016

If a Judge of Mexican descent cannot be impartial to Donald Trump, does that mean anyone born of immigrants can also not be impartial to Donald Trump? Does that mean only Native American Judges, who aren’t born of any immigrants, can be impartial to Trump?

When someone says their platform is “For the Children,” that generally means they have a bad idea.

Are there people who genuinely like Hillary Clinton? Asking for a friend.

Of all the hot takes on this election cycle, mine are the coldest.

If former Bernie fans who end up settling for Gary Johnson in the general make “Feel the Johnson” a real thing, we really have a problem.

If the anime series’ Evangelion’s timeline were accurate, we’d be in the middle of a war with giant monsters right now with 13 year olds piloting mechs. Still less crazy than this election cycle has felt.

If the timeline from the original Duke Nukem video game were accurate, in 1997 robots would have taken over the earth. Also, the world would be basically bad 90s jokes, pig robots, and strippers. I’ll pass.

Hanging a Confederate flag on your lawn is a statement. You know what else is? This sentence.

I rescind my previous support of Cobra Commander. His charisma can only go so far, I’ve moved on to the far more honest Lex Luthor. If I’m going with an eccentric businessman with a dubious past, let’s go with the one that’s the most dubious.

The Green Party is still a thing, apparently.

Riots are never the answer. Unless your favorite fantasy/sci fi/TV character died on the most recent episode, then I guess we riot.

How come Sanders still hasn’t lost his Brooklyn accent after living in Vermont since 1968? Is the Brooklyn accent really that powerful?

I was told this was a fairly accurate Bernie 2016 button.

I was told this was a fairly accurate Bernie 2016 button.

David French deciding not to run for President and feeling he’s unqualified, makes him more qualified to me than anyone currently running.

Why is this a thing?

Will I eventually go full on Baltimore accent when I’ve lived in Maryland for over 50 years…?

Clever cultural reference.

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords may be a better basis for our system of government than the choices we have now.

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, will we still have such awful candidates running for President?

We need to support a complete prohibition on people with the same first name from dating or getting married. You know, for the children.

When is the “Rent is Too Damn High Party” debate? I’m curious if McMillan will still receive the nomination and still looking for a candidate.

One of Clinton’s first foreign policy speeches since Trump secured the GOP nomination was 52% zingers on Trump. I’m not ready to support a candidate until they can get to a 75% zinger threshold.

The Prohibition Party is looking more and more appealing these days. At least they’re honest about what they want to confiscate from you.

This is the most obvious tweet of the election cycle:


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This is my 3rd Deep Thoughts post on the 2016 race. You can read the first two here and here.

About the Author

Matthew Newman
Matthew Newman is a Christian environmental engineer (Professionally licensed in Maryland). He’s also a husband, beard aficionado, Dad of four beautiful children, blogger, and all around geeky guy from Baltimore County. When he’s not chasing his kids or working, he’s probably asleep.

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