On Piggy, Kermit, and Denise

Let’s have some real talk for a second before I go any deeper. Admit it – we all have opinions of the Miss Piggy/Kermit breakup and his supposed new girlfriend Denise. Let’s be adults and openly admit that. Now that we’ve done that, I have opinions on the matter. Let’s do this.

For those who have been living under a rock, Miss Piggy and Kermit have split up. Yes, the couple of Muppets who have been a mainstay of their TV series’ and movies are no longer together. Now, supposedly, Kermit is dating a different pig named Denise who works at ABC. I say, good for him – Miss Piggy is a horrible being and Kermit deserved better.

But wait, Matt, why this dislike for Miss Piggy? She’s a feminist icon. People love her. Do they? Do they really? Let’s talk about why she’s awful.

She’s Physically Abusive

How many times have we seen this scene? Kermit says or does something Piggy doesn’t like and he gets hit. So hard, in fact, that he falls off his chair. The Muppet Wiki does a good job chronicling some of them. but there are a lot of them and most of her violence is directed at Kermit. Herein lies the question – if it were the other way around, would it have been played up for laughs and people still like Kermit the Frog? Of course not. Domestic abuse isn’t a joke, unless it’s a pig beating up her frog boyfriend, then it’s hilarious. No, it’s still not funny. I can’t think of a time when I found it funny, this is something which has always bugged me about Piggy – her violent streak.

She’s Incredibly Selfish

Piggy is incredibly selfish. She’s always focused on herself, what’s good for her, whether she gets the best parts. She has a huge dressing room while others share. The special guest on the Muppet Show had a significantly worse dressing room than she had. Yet, things were never enough. Even as the theater struggled financially, Piggy always seemed to want more – more clothes, more extravagant scenes, a bigger dressing room. She was always focused on herself. In fact, she even wrote a book on the matter entitled, “The Diva Code” which Piggy referred to as a “selfish-help book.” She wants to be the best, the biggest, the center of attention. It’s a bit much, and it always was.

She’s Obsessive about Kermit

Her focus and obsession on Kermit is to an extreme degree. Her Kermie is constantly being smothered with kisses (when she’s not abusing him). She follows him around, she tries to trick him into getting married (on numerous occasions). She actually stunts her own career staying on at the Muppet Theater because, she’s obsessed with Kermit. When she’s not focusing on herself, she’s focusing and scheming for ways to get him to marry her. It’s pathological. If she were one of your friends, you’d have an intervention.

Now that Kermit is finally free of his abusive, self-centered girlfriend of nearly 40 years – he’s finally moving on. He, reportedly started a relationship with ABC Executive Muppet Denise (pictured above). And Piggy, is supposedly courting Liam Hemsworth. Good luck, kid.

About the Author

Matthew Newman
Matthew Newman is a Christian environmental engineer (Professionally licensed in Maryland). He’s also a husband, beard aficionado, Dad of four beautiful children, blogger, and all around geeky guy from Baltimore County. When he’s not chasing his kids or working, he’s probably asleep.

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